Locked inside my Heart
by La Dormeuse
Summary: AU Hitomi's just received a bombshell, on top of knowing her best friend's brother's secrets, all surrounding a world she hates but he's immersed in, and a mysterious necklace binds them in ways they never thought would occur. She just wants to blog. V/H
1. Collapsible world

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Disclaimer: don't own squat, except my lovely new laptop. Don't own Escaflowne, or any hot Korean Boybands. I want Van!!!! (cries whilst holding plushie Van). Sigh, let's get on with this hoe-down shall we?

A/N: "talk" – normal. _"talk"_ – in Fanelian.

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I hate this.

In my last year of school, ready to turn 18, spread my wings and head off to university; but no. My parents decide to spring on me a _wonderful_ surprise. Father came home yesterday and exerted his fatherly authority on me by telling me that he had some _good news_.

I knew automatically that he hadn't bought me a Vespa, which I've wanted since I was little as my cousins in Fanelia have them. Naturally, I worried as the last _good news / surprise_ he had for me was a trip to Freid for my 16th birthday – which most people would say is amazing! The capital city is beautiful, and I've always wanted to go, but with my father it ended up being a trip where we visited all his stuck-up friends, their stuck-up kids and I was paraded as his 'amazing' daughter.

I wasn't allowed to do anything touristy and all the kids my age were complete tossers.

My surprise? They've found me a husband. Yes you have read correctly. I didn't misspell Honda car, though I'd prefer a Vespa moped. And no, not one of those mail-order things from a far away country where they don't speak any Gaean. After father gave me this _good news_, I casually asked him who it was, trying not to reach across the table and kill him or say I was pregnant or something that would shock the hell out of him.

He replied two fatal words – "Allen Schezar." I've never met him, but everyone in Palas knows who he is, his family own and run Scherezade Hotels, father obviously is looking out for his wallet and business empire, rather than his daughter's heart. I think that's the only reason my parents were happy they had a daughter, that way they could marry her off to someone equally rich and merge companies. My father's family own and run Mystic Moon Communications.

If I wanted to, I could have gone to Palas' All Girls' Academy – I don't have a death wish, all the girls there are complete and utter snobs. I go to Gaea High, it's a private school, but no one there is snotty aside from the popular people – what do you expect. Schezar is a well-known playboy, but not the kind of usual sleazeball, he's still highly respected in 'society' as father would put it because he's apparently an amazing businessman and no woman can resist his charms.

Well, he won't find me slack-jawed over him; been there, done that and it's not going to happen again. I calmly ate lunch listening to father warmly tell me about this wonderful young man. I showed no resistance, I'm far more subtle – I'll just terrorise this git, whether he's nice or not; he agreed to woo me, a girl he's never met and he's clearly thinking of the monetary reward, and probably getting in my underwear, which will never happen. I haven't told anyone about what's happened and it's a good thing as even though I love Merle and Yukari like sisters they have the biggest mouths in Gaea.

This is my last year of high school, which I'm grateful for as it means goodbye to relying on father, but I'm also terrified of going to uni as it'll be so different, and the whole making new friends, etc. I'm not your average 17 year old, I like the quiet life – most of the time, I don't see the point in getting smashed every weekend as I value my liver, nor sleeping with every guy that rubs up against you.

I'm not a prude by any means, I've been exposed to plenty of things because of my sick minded friends and a pervert for a brother. But I haven't actually had a proper boyfriend, or been on a date, or even been kissed.

After everything my parents have put me through, I should be grateful it's not something more heinous, such as a wedding on my birthday, actually I didn't pay much attention after mummy dearest said that they had found me my _future husband_. Anyhou, it's the last day of the holidays and I'm here at a Café within a Fanelian shrine. Yeah, I get what you're thinking, why would there be a café in a shrine?

Well my mother has two sisters, one a miko taking care of a shrine to Escaflowne. Her younger sister didn't want to leave her elder sister alone, so she turned one of the outbuildings into a Café. Strangely I call my miko aunt by her first name and my café aunt Zia, which is Fanelian for aunt. Not surprising really seeing as she named her _Café, _Café Fanelia. So Zia runs it and I waitress most days after school, and often on weekends as I'm not really a party girl. My friends normally come and visit, when they want free sundaes, and a good gossip. And there's all the regular customers, the various families whose kids I play with and get comments about how tall I am or how much I look like my mother.

Of course I can't forget the old people, who love it when Zia gets the record player out and we all waltz round on a Sunday afternoon, round the house and mind the dresser as Zia says. My friends and school kids who try to piss me off – popular idiots, or the younger kids who know I'm the Fanelian girl and try to order in Fanelian which is pretty cute if you think about it.

Lastly there's the medical students from the university building two streets away who flirt for free food or just to flirt, with a plain jane like me – I don't see the point. Most of our customers _are_ Fanelian if you hadn't already guessed. I suppose it's a small taste of home for most of them, to go and have a quick pray in the shrine and then into the café for a cup of coffee and a slice of cake or ice cream.

Yes, if you hadn't guessed by now I am Fanelian, my mother's family is; but with her snobbish ideals and in-laws, she renounced it in favour of Asturian nationality as she _now_ views Fanelia as an Asturian backwater and Fanelians as gypsies. I'm very proud of my nationality, I'm fluent in Fanelian, the second language _back home_ as I call it, even though we've never lived there – the first language being Gaean. I have posters in my room of the fabulous Fanelian football star – Cristiano Iaquinta, who I will marry! And I'm really really not kidding.

Most of my friends find my pride amusing, especially when they like poking fun at Fanelian things and trying to rile me up. They all say I'll either marry a Fanelian football star as I follow it obsessively, or a wealthy Fanelian businessman. Why the second option I have no idea, but that's life.

My best friend Yukari is eternally in debt to the café as it led her to find her boyfriend Amano, who is our school's track team captain and star runner. Being a jock he didn't pay much attention to anyone else in the school at first aside from his group of friends, but Yukari served him once when I was sick and it led from there. He now is part of our group, along with Yukari, and me. Yukari and I met in the first year of secondary school, as she moved from a city in the north.

We clicked the second she saw me flipping through a magazine with DBSK – my favourite band on the cover and our shared love of the gorgeous quintet started our blossoming friendship, not that we're perfect. The fact that I haven't yet had a steady boyfriend worries her, it also worries her that I'd rather play Tomb Raider or Final Fantasy, or watch anime than go out to a party, get trashed and get felt up by the closest guy to me.

But that's not all, there's also Chid, the computer genius as we call him; however he's not your usual geek. He's as tall as Amano, he might even be taller after this summer; short blonde hair and Asturian sea blue eyes. Even though Amano's a sports freak and Chid a textbook _geek_ they get on really well and were friends before Yukari and Amano dated, they've only just got closer (as guy friends can) as we all now are a group.

Most of the girls in the school, even the popular ones have given him the eyeball, but he pays no attention. I have a sneaking suspicion that he has a girlfriend or likes someone outside of school as he rarely pays attention to any girl in school. And last but not least is the fireball of the group as we call her – Merle. Merle is a cheerleader, but only because we don't have a gymnastics club. She hates the popular kids in our school, probably more than me.

And it's obvious why. Our older brothers were good friends and in the popular crowd when they came here, Merle's brother more than mine – so she got a lot of attention as 'his sister.' Even still she does, but from girls asking about him and whether he's single, in town, etc. Merle's brother deserves an entry by itself – not like that, but I have a lot to say about Van Fanel.

Hopefully, this year will give me a lot of my firsts – first kiss = I know, I'm 17 and never been kissed. I think that it's something special that should only be given at the right time, not to just any random guy. Also having Mamoru, my older brother, Van, and Dilandau always hovering over me and Merle it's no surprise any prospective admirers were scared away, as if there actually were any.

First boyfriend, I've been praying for this and I know exactly what he looks like, based on Cristiano Iaquinta. I have ages to find my Principe Azzurro – prince charming in Fanelian as Zia calls it! She often catches me daydreaming about my future, obviously it won't be perfect but after all the manga and anime and fanfics that are bursting with fluff, I can't help but expect a knight with white steed and shining armour to come and sweep me off my feet.

Poor Schezar, he's got a lot to cope with. Anyhou, I think I'll go to bed now. Writing an online blog is really tiring. Let's hope I can keep this up, normally when I get empty pretty books to write in, I start and then stop after a week or a day – I forget or get bored. Yukari says that's an indication of being afraid of commitment, but I think she's reading a bit too much into the problem of not writing in a diary.

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Well, school started today and was strangely different. So we were all thrust back into the swing of lessons – or bunking, assemblies – or sneaking off to Starbucks, and homework – or excuses of why you haven't done it. I expected at least some normality to the first day of my last year at high school, but no. I wasn't even allowed that, from the second I got in I had responsibilities loaded onto me.

The first was as I walked in the door, I made sure to be early to meet up with everyone and have a good natter, even though they're rarely in early.

But I didn't get that, instead I saw the Student Council President – Hiro Takaya run up to me looking supremely stressed and practically tackling me, thank god for kendo practice or we would have ended up in a very compromising position. He stared at me, panting and was almost on his knees demanding, "Hitomi, can you speak Fanelian?" Despite the utter strange nature of being accosted by the anal idiot, I rolled my eyes and nodded, before realising that he had his eyes closed and was rocking back and forth violently. Weird but I can't remember Van ever being so stressed when he was president, but then he's never stressed. He usually moves from apathy to sarcasm and back.

Back to the slightly crazed Student President, I replied in the affirmative and was rewarded with something that almost sounded like an order, "You have to help me with the new girl! She's in your class and I only discovered this morning that she can't speak Gaean." I looked at him and the vein pulsating at his temple, realising that it wouldn't help his blood pressure if I walked away like the majority of the uncaring population of this school. I agreed and watched him run off, screaming his thanks and instructions to go to the front office, which I did without complaint.

When I reached the office I found a pretty, innocent looking blonde; she didn't seem the type to scare the crap out of Takaya who practically has an iron bar stuck up his backside. I asked her in polite Fanelian, "_Are you the new girl? I'm called Hitomi, I'll guide you round. What's your name?"_ at which point she gave me a very confuddled look and she smiled politely, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Fanelian," in perfect Gaean.

Naturally I was baffled so I replied in the slowest possible speed I could manage, "Are you the new girl, the student president said they couldn't speak Gaean?" she smiled cheekily, a smile I've seen on most of my friends' faces when they're up to something.

"Did you say your name was Hitomi?" I nodded, this girl really wasn't responding to my questions but asking her own, so I nodded and she grinned – back into angelic mode and I got another shock of my life, "I'm Celena, Celena Schezar." It appears this arrangement isn't as sudden as I first thought, hopefully she didn't notice my gaping jaw as she grinned at me; "So are you going to show me around?" I nodded and gestured for her to follow me, still in shock and I had the feeling of a fish or a small animal that had a net tightening around them.

She murmured, "I pretended I was Fanelian as a joke and the guy who was here started to freak out and ran off, I didn't mean…" she obviously interpreted my silence as annoyance, so I turned round and smiled, "Don't worry, you just got one up on the student president – you'll be seen as a hero on your first day, he's a crazy stickler for rules, most people love to wind him up. So what school did you transfer from?"

I already guessed from her name it was Pallas, but kept my mouth shut and it was a conversation starter. She rolled her eyes, "I went to Pallas, but I'm nothing like those snobs." I grinned back, "Good to know," she smiled back, then heard the loud noise coming from our form room and seemed to blanch as I opened the door, "Welcome to hell – you'll love it." She looked at me and stepped through the door, ready to face our peers.

We had different lessons but I saw her at lunch looking lost so I waved her over and she seemed rather grateful for it. She sat down and exhaled rather loudly, so I asked; "Is everything okay?" she looked up and nodded, "Yeah, it's just bit overwhelming. Everyone's so, so…"

"Relaxed?" I grinned, as she nodded, slightly perplexed, "I think they feel that we deserve respect rather than having a leash and being told what to do 24/7." She nodded, still looking slightly baffled,

"But doesn't everyone take liberties with it and not do any work?" I smiled, "You can if you want, but it's your life you're screwing with. I take it Pallas is really strict?" she nodded, taking a bite of her sandwich whilst I tucked into my pasta – even though it is school food, it's quite good.

"Well, yeah. The teachers practically breathed down your necks all the time, even if you sneeze wrong." I laughed, and she smiled at me, "How were your first classes?" she nodded enthusiastically, "Really good…" but before she could continue, my favourite computer genius appeared and sat down with his tray whilst taking a forkful of my pasta and between chewing, asked, "Have you persuaded someone to join your Iaquinta fan club/cult?"

I laughed and Celena gave him a weird look, so I responded, "Chid, this is Celena, she's new and in our year. Celena, this is Chid – our resident computer genius and general maker of merriment." She laughed at my phrasing and he smiled at her, "The lady Hitomi is correct in her speech, welcome to Gaea Hell as we call it," she smiled as he scanned the lunch hall, "You'll probably be picked up by the popular people any second now."

She looked baffled, "Why do you say that?" he smiled and ate half of his sandwich in one gulp, you wonder why we call him the human waste disposal unit.

"Cause you're pretty and blonde, you'll fit right in." She raised an eyebrow, as she seemed to be offended by this comment, so I rectified Chid's mistake – he's very straight talking, so if you're talking crap he'll tell you or if the food you're eating 'should' be eaten or at least shared with him.

"He means that you seem to have an air of being a popular person, he's not calling you a snob or anything. Are you Chid?" as I kicked him under the table, he looked up from his culinary day dream with a look and: "Wha?" with a mouth full of food. I rolled my eyes, "He may be a genius, but he can put his entire leg up to the knee in his mouth," causing Celena to laugh, "Nah, I hate popular people," she murmured, "My brother's one of them." I laughed, hoping she wasn't going to bring up anything – or even better had no idea about our families' agreement.

Chid smirked, and swung his arm round her shoulders, "You'll fit right in." she looked rather shocked at how he could change so quickly and then the rest of our group decided to join us. After introductions, Merle and Celena seemed to quickly get engrossed in a conversation about some holiday resort in the south of Fanelia, whilst Yukari, Amano, Chid and I discussed our holidays and everything in between.

"We coming by after school?" Amano asked with a grin, referring to the café that he's also quite fond of as it led him to Yukari and neither have looked back since.

"Ahh, Zia's chocolate cake!" Chid grinned, "You just ate!" Yukari murmured, exasperated and I laughed, nodding, "Naturally!" Merle and Celena decided to rejoin our main conversation, and I explained the café to her and how we end up going there most days after school, she smiled politely, "I'd love to, but my brother's picking me up after my first day. How about tomorrow?" I nodded, feeling slightly worried that Allen Schezar would be at the school gates at 3.30, but hopefully I hid it well.

Having not spoken yet, Merle piped up, "It looks like I'll have a fellow non-whore trying out this year for cheerleading." We all laughed, as cheerleaders, even in our school are seen as the lowest of the low, some are okay but as a group of people, I don't particularly want to interact with them.

Celena seemed to be having a good time with us, which I was thankful for, as my friends can be very welcoming when they want to, but I was worried that after summer they might ignore her completely and focus on discussing holidays, etc. without acknowledging the new girl. But before lunch was over, Celena was introduced to the _rough_ side of the school. Every school has their bad-asses, ours are just rich ones, which can be worse.

But we know them quite well – or I do as they were Dilandau's skivvies when he was here and they ask us about him, kind of hero worship, but not in a geeky way. The leader Dallet and I have history – not that kind of history! We used to hate each other as I was a geeky girl and he was a _gangster_—_like frigging hell!—_thus his natural behaviour regarding myself was to treat me like shit, so he did.

Man, was he surprised when I talked back, and its been like that for the past few years, I don't hate him passionately, but if he makes a comment, it often riles me up and I lash out at him. I've come close to physically responding (now you're just being sick!) but it's often in front of Dilandau and Van so Van often holds me back. I think Dallet does it to piss Van off as those two don't get on either.

Dallet's _crew_ is known as the Dragon-Slayers, which most people now don't understand, but Merle and I do; Dragon was Van's nickname because he has the temper of one and like Dilandau, had a penchant for fire as a kid – except Dilandau didn't grow out of it.

Anyhou, Dallet and his lot walked past and Dallet said something that would have thrown me off my chair if I hadn't been leaning on the table, "It's good to see those legs again Kanzaki, you must've ran a lot over summer." I turned in complete shock at his comment as did my friends, whilst his were sniggering loudly, but before I could respond with words or violence, he turned his attention on Celena.

"Well, you must be the new girl. I'm Dallet," he uncharacteristically held out his hand to her, and she shocked us by putting on her snobbiest voice, "You have an awfully unusual name," then looked at me,

"Shall we go to our form room?" I grinned and nodded, all of us got up and walked away.

After turning the corner, Amano grinned, "Nice comment." She grinned, "I just imitated my brother's ex-girlfriend." We all uselessly stifled laughter and I stated, "She also had Takaya running ragged this morning by pretending she couldn't speak Gaean." They all laughed and I think, even after one day – Celena found her place in our little group.

Of course the day didn't end there, we had afternoon classes, and now Celena knew a few more faces, she seemed more at ease. We all had maths together, which I hate but the teacher Professor Fassa is a complete pushover and let us talk for most of the lesson, so we did playing the clean version of 20 questions with Celena, whilst filling her in on the layout of the school, our year, who to avoid, etc.

We didn't expect the teacher to come up to us and have Celena grin at him cheekily, "Dryden, you actually have a job!" causing us to stare, Fassa may be a pushover, but he doesn't take comments like that which left us completely shocked when he replied, "I felt I had to help out the masses, you know like that preacher dude in Freid."

We all laughed and he looked at us, and smiled, "Good to see you're taking care of Celena for me," then addressed Celena, "Don't expect any leniency from me because you know the teacher," he said to her, winked and then walked back to his desk where he was texting on his phone.

We all turned to Celena for an explanation and she responded, "He's a family friend. I forgot he taught here." She seemed to have finished with that topic, so we carried on with our previous discussion and when the lesson was over, she headed off with Amano and Merle to Chemistry, whilst Kari, Chid and I had English. The lesson was the same old thing, 'new year, new start.'

And so the school day came to an end and we all met by our tree, where we normally have lunch but didn't as it was the first day back and wanted to meet indoors, plus it was a bit chilly. I walked over to Celena and asked how her first day was, she grinned, "Nothing like I expected, in a good way and you lot are nuts, no offence!" we all laughed.

"We try, we try." Amano murmured dryly, setting us off again and we reached the gate, me forgetting completely that Celena's brother – Allen Schezar a.k.a. my betrothed was waiting for her.

I tell you now, nothing prepares you for the sight that is Allen Schezar. No wonder why he's popular with the ladies, tall, with long blond hair – I know you'd think it'd be weird but he actually looks quite masculine – and amazing grey eyes. Definitely a good looking guy, who obviously knows it.

Of course the gods weren't looking down on me favourably as Celena grabbed my arm and said, "Come, I want you to meet my brother," I didn't have time to respond as she ran quite fast and we reached him in seconds, the others closely behind as Celena calmly stepped into her brother's arms and

I swear to Atlantis that half the females leaving school stopped to listen to him speak.

"Did you have a good day?" he asked her, his gaze turning onto me as she pulled back, nodding and grabbed my arm again, "This is Hitomi, she's in my class and has practically welcomed me with open arms." I nodded politely, avoiding eye contact as much as possible, he put out his hand and I had to shake it, "Pleasure," I murmured, and looked up as he smiled at me warmly, "Thank you for welcoming my sister, I'm Allen."

I smiled, trying my best to hide my panic, "No problem."

At that point I felt my world collapsing in on me.

Yours,

Hitomi (or Hito-chan as my evil friends decided to call me)

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A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are treasured more than money and cake ^^

Sina xx


	2. Unmarriage material

Disclaimer: It's me again! Yay! Chappie here comes Van, the wonder king himself – but he's not real royalty in this story. Here we go…

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OMG people subscribed!!! People are interested in my life!! If any of you know me (Yukari?) then stop reading! Otherwise, perfect strangers are welcome to read about my disastrous life… Anyhou…

Sorry, got cut off on my last entry. Stupid prats! Who I hear you ask, why the marvellous and wonderful (can you see the sarcasm?)

Dilandau Albatou and his universal partner in crime Van Fanel.

It's now Thursday night, we started school on Wednesday. And I was writing this entry yesterday afternoon in the café as there were a few customers, and Zia said I didn't need to work as it was my first day back from school. The others had left after a while to get home and _work_, as in go on MSN, and play a good old RPG but I stayed and started this. I never got to finish as tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee decided to enter and cause mental havoc.

There I was starting to feel like that Truman dude who had his whole life followed in that it seems the net is tightening round me in terms of my wonderful parents' plan to marry me off to Schezar. Not only has his sister just joined our school, and is directed straight towards me but Schezar is outside the school gates to pick her up. I was just on Expedia and considering credit card fraud – I know my father's PIN – to get a one-way ticket to Fanelia and ride this storm out when they arrived.

You would think that Van and Dilandau are just your average recently graduated rich kids who are being trained in the family business, however that is not the case. They are in the midst of training with their family companies, yes; but that's not all. They work for the Abharaki, with friends they made at uni; I know this because they've come to me on occasion for help.

Yes, I'm secretly a genetically modified super-human created by Zaibach laboratories and can see the future, I tell them when and where evil rich people will be and they go whack them. Did I have you going? Hee hee, I love those fics, and Dark Angel on TV.

Even though I do kendo, I suck at it. I'd do better at the lightening speed running, than the fight scenes. Anyhou, they ask for my help because I have one skill that most people don't. No, not seeing into the future but I am technologically capable, if you know what I mean. Chid may be a computer geek, but his illegal activities stay within the file sharing capabilities on Limewire and stuff. His dad's a big figure in law enforcement – Lieutenant of the district they live in and his strong morals have definitely been passed down from father to son. Chid believes strongly in justice, and thinks drug dealers are complete twats, etc.

I keep going off track, but that's what a diary is for – back to Van and Dilandau and my helping them. I learnt at a very young age, courtesy of my brother and a lot of internet access how to enter things that one shouldn't be able to access, such as people's bank details, email accounts, etc. I know, I know; it's illegal and morally wrong but I do it for good reasons.

I know the Abharaki get a lot of bad press as crooks in the city that do insider trading, kill people and collaborate to bring down officials, etc. for kicks. But that's not true, the officials that are _taken down_ are actually crooked, but the newspapers are liars as far as I'm concerned. I've gladly helped them, giving them the evidence to do it. I don't know exactly the truth about the Abharaki, in terms of their aim, their leader, etc.

I've heard Dilandau say the names _Kishi Amatsu_ and _Ryuujin_ the first translates as Heavenly Knight, but the other name isn't old Fanelian or Gaean or any language I can find. I take it they're the head honchos but I keep what I know to myself. As far as Van and Dilandau are concerned I only know that they work for the Abharaki, that they deliver justice in a good way – not the gangster method of killing people, and what I find for them online and hacking helps them, end of story.

They really are stupid if they think that there's no information on them – I'm good on the internet, and there are thousands of websites about them.

But they weren't paying a visit for my help, they were just being the nosy gits they enjoy being. They bounced in, their usual annoying greeting of sneaking up behind me and yelling at the tops of their voices, "HELLO HITO-CHAN!" which they thoroughly enjoyed as I had four empty trays and dropped them all to the floor, so I ignored them and knelt down to pick them up but shot my leg out and hooked my ankle round the nearest leg I found behind me, hooked it and pulled it off the floor.

I recognised Dilandau swearing in Fanelian and Van laughing as he bent down and picked up the four trays and putting them in my hands. "You're improving," he murmured, grinning at my retaliation. I responded with picking up the top tray and tapping him quite hard on the head. He rolled his eyes, "Now you've dealt your retribution, can we be served?" I stuck my tongue out and stood up and put the trays on the nearest table.

Everyone in the café – at least the regulars ignored our actions as it's normal that the two of them sneak up on me and I respond with violence, after that we're all friends. Dilandau stood up, followed by Van and they both placing a hand behind each elbow, guiding me to the table at the corner nearest the kitchen, and nearest the wonderful scent that wafts from Zia's magical pastries.

We all sat down and Dilandau seemed to smile in a paternal way, "So what's new Hitomi?" I rolled my eyes, "Nothing _dad_. Aside from your chief skivvy making perverted comments about me…"

"What?" Van interrupted, looking slightly peeved, I rolled my eyes and noticed Dilandau smirking, but decided pacifying the _Dragon_ seemed the better option unless I wanted Dallet in a coma, and I'm really not that sadistic. Ironically Van's always been protective of me and Merle, even more than Dilandau and my own brother. But my brother's never been that caring about anything much other than his hair care.

Van can be the most laidback person in the universe at times, but he is very protective and can get very angry very quickly which I have found out the hard way. I sighed and raised my palms, "Dallet just made a comment, that's all. He didn't try to rape me! Calm down Van, I'll get you two your usual." I stood up and started to double back towards the trays when Van grabbed my arm, looking almost worried, "If anything happens, **anything**, you will tell us?"

I looked at him, sensing his anxiety and it intrigued me as Van is one of the most laid-back people I know in general. But before I could question him Dilandau seemed to strangely cover for him, "She's not going to be kidnapped, and Dallet and his lot are harmless." He then turned to me, "If he starts getting too annoying I'll have a word with him. Don't worry."

He eyed both of us, "Both of you. Now would you get us some ice-cream please?" I grinned and walked away, picking up the trays and gave the orders to Zia who recognised it instantly and yelled out of the kitchen, in Fanelian, _"Why haven't I been said hello to!?"_ the two of them recognised her voice and bolted into the kitchen, bowing to her, calling her Zia-sama, which makes no sense and then took their leave whilst I took coffees and food for other tables.

I returned to them a few minutes later and brought them their ice-creams. The rest of the day was spent doing homework and my parents talking loudly on the phone to people – their snobbish friends, but I paid no attention. Instead I've been focusing on this situation with Allen Schezar, I mean my parents told me a few days before school started and his sister appears.

You can't just come to Gaea High, there's a few years' waiting list. I definitely feel my spider senses tingling or rather screaming at me and not in a good way.

And on top of all this I've been thinking. I mean I've never had a boyfriend and the strongest 'romantic' feeling I've experienced was two years ago when Van took his shirt off whilst playing basketball and put his arms round me to help me shoot. I remember almost fainting at that moment, I mean even though he's the older brother of one of my best friends and four years older than me, etc.

How sad is that? My most romantic moment wasn't even with a guy that I had proper feelings for – I mean I've had a crush on Van, come on he's gorgeous, but just that moment being the pinnacle of my love life makes me feel sick. I'm starting to understand why my parents are trying to marry me off.

I think a list would help, a positive list, or rather a positive list for me and negative one against marrying Schezar:

Reasons why Hitomi Kanzaki shouldn't marry Allen Schezar:

1. Hitomi Schezar sounds rubbish, Hitomi Iaquinta sounds sooo much better, especially Hitomi Esmeralda Iaquinta – the perfect Fanelian name! Way better than Hitomi Esmeralda Schezar, sounds like a confusion of nationalities.

2. He's not Fanelian! It may sound racist, but I want to marry someone Fanelian, I'd have such a nice mother-in-law and the husband being such a mummy's boy would be so caring towards me due to that fact, of course very masculine at the same time. Only Fanelian men can carry this off, trust me!

3. One's husband's hair should NEVER be a millimetre longer than that of his wife's, I got this from one of mum's handbooks from the 50's that are very outdated, politically incorrect and laughable. Anyway, if so I would have to grow my hair down to my arse and I personally don't want to sit on my hair, Yukari did that before she met Amano and always had to move it out of the way before she sat down.

4. Schezar is blonde, my perfect husband will have dark hair! No offence to blonde haired guys, but I prefer dark-haired guys. Also Schezar's long, blonde hair just screams femininity at me. Ah well.

5. Schezar has evil eyes. I could tell when I looked at him, they were a hypnotic bluish grey, and not in a good way! In a way that let you know that if you married him, you would end up a Stepford Wife with no emotions and would be controlled completely by him, whilst he has his dalliances leaving you a laughing stock leading on to point 6.

6. Schezar has a reputation, for being a ladies' man – and not in a good way, well obviously! He definitely wouldn't be faithful in any way. He's probably just going along with this for kicks and to see how long it'll be before I fling my panties at him and then will take them (my panties) as a souvenir and bugger off.

7. An arranged marriage is in no way romantic! Okay, in fanfics the couple fall helplessly in love and I adore that, but there is no way Schezar and I will. I am marrying either a member of DBSK or Vicenzo Iaquinta. Sigh.

8. If I marry Schezar, I will be unable to marry Iaquinta or Yunho from DBSK, and I am not the type of person to carry on behind someone's back. I've seen my brother do it and Dilandau, and it sickens me.

9. Schezar no doubt expects the perfect housewife, someone who will adore him, keep a blind eye to his infidelities, dress and act immaculately in front of 'society,' do as he wishes – you know what I mean. Someone who will raise his children without a word of complaint. Hey I know I've never had a proper conversation with the guy – but I could tell from those few words that passed between us.

10. Schezar would in no way want to marry a girl, yes girl that's six or however many years younger than him. Not to mention a girl who swears profusely, eats messily, cries and laughs at the same time, snores and drools when asleep. Who prefers to wear sweat pants or jeans and a t-shirt than a mini-skirt or prim and proper dress, has no idea how to use all the forks and knives at big fancy dinners and is very vocal about her football team.

Wow, I can understand why no-one's ever asked me out properly, I mean I've been to some parties and been asked by drunk guys from my class to dance or 'go out sometime,' but they're rarely making eye contact, as they're eyes are either glazed over completely or staring down my top.

Maybe I should try make-up, shudder or a different hair style from the usual hair pulled back in a high pony tail. Sigh, I can't believe I'm actually considering this! Merle and Yukari would probably wonder what the hell I was up to, and Dilandau and Van. Jeez, they'd rip the complete piss out of me, I don't do pretty.

I do slouching on the sofa in a jumper and jeans and scarfing food. However, their reaction would be highly entertaining. This seems like an interesting idea, and I feel like a challenge, to see if I can do _pretty_. Okay that means I'll have to wear pantyhose or skin coloured tights like the _popular_ crowd, not my regular black tights; I'll have to shave my legs properly rather than missing random bits in a rush for training.

To be _pretty_ one must be perfect.

Also, I'll have to wear shoes with a slight heel, not my usual pumps which are starting to look slightly battered. My comfy school sweater will have to go, it'll be a blouse with a button or two undone, you're _pretty_, not slutty. I should probably wear some different earrings; dainty ones, not my _gypsy_ hoops as my darling mother calls them, she feels they're too Fanelian and common, or my regular studs that reside permanently in my ear.

I'll have to wear some appropriate jewellery and not my regular Fanelian saint's medal. And lastly, my hair will have to be down, not in its usual sloppy bun or ponytail and tangledness. It will have to be styled slightly, maybe with a flowery hairclip. Sigh, this will be hard, but fun in a masochistic way. It could also go horribly wrong as my parents could see it as me attempting to try and impress Schezar, which is the farthest thing from my mind.

Looks like this will be interesting, though knowing my combined luck and karma, it'll probably make no difference whatsoever and people will just treat me like I'm acting mental – which is normal actually. Well, here's to change.

All my love,

Hito-chan (it's starting to grow on me)

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Cheers! Sorry it's so short but I wanted to update in honour of my birthday and celebration of oral exams being over! Let me know what you think!!!

Sina xx


	3. Unsharing is caring

Hey! Thanks for reading, but REVIEWING is way better!!!! For those who aren't obsessed with Korean culture like me, DBSK is a FANTABULOUS BAND. Their best video is Rising Sun, watch it on you-tube! Thank you to Missing White Wings 15 and flys without wings. Be prepared for another dry spell though!

Aml sina

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Date: Thursday, September 4. 2006

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Wow even more reviews! Merle if you are one of the … people that read or the 3 that reviewed I will KILL YOU! That said, those masochistic enough to want to read this, enjoy revelling in my pain.

I've had to add this as I was called down to dinner and had the most painful conversation I've ever had with my parents. Luckily it wasn't a conversation about how babies are made, they're probably leaving that until the wedding night hoping _Allen dearest_ will explain it to me – how creepy would that be? Right bad question, evil mental images. Ugh, I feel sick just thinking about it and it isn't an image I want in my head.

Nor was it a conversation about not drinking or taking drugs. My brother Mamoru had his fair share of misdemeanours as a teenager and I was rather scornful of his drunken homecoming and behaviour. From which my parents have assumed – correctly for once – that I won't follow in his footsteps of going to parties and getting completely smashed or high, and I think it's rather stupid. Anyway being sober has its uses when everyone around you is drunk as they tend to let slip things they wouldn't normally say when in their right mind.

But my parents wanted to discuss this _arrangement_ they have with the Schezars and how it was all going to work.

Again, looking over what I've said in previous items, it seems like my mother is an unfeeling selfish cow who only is looking out for prestige and money like my father. However, that isn't true, she can be quite the social climber but I think our non-relationship stems from the _problem_ in her eyes that I'm not interested in fashion per se, Vogue, high society, etc. and how I hate all those fancy dinners. Sigh.

Maybe I could ask for her help with my transformation plan, then again it might backfire. I do love my mother but we've never really got on that well and she's never really approved of my running – especially in the summer and on weekends in the park – in a very well lit area! I can take care of myself – and the kendo, or the waitressing – even though it's at her own sister's café which is respectable—it's in a freaking Shrine!—you'd think from her sermons that I work at a seedy bar in a provocative outfit. We do get on, on occasion but I can't see her standing up for me in this situation.

Sigh. Again.

Of course when Mamoru worked there during his last year at high school and during the holidays, it was perfectly fine – Mamoru was seen as the amazing young man who had a job, he was so proactive for someone of his age. Mother can be very pompous and a perfect Pallas lady, rejecting her Fanelian background when she wants to, which is where the clashes begin. But last night I think she had a swift wake up call and realised how different we are and just how empty our relationship is.

And the fact that her other sister is a miko in a Fanelian temple to the God Escaflowne and is very unsubtly trying to turn me into her protégé, whilst my mother definitely wants me to marry. She fears that my enthusiasm for the shrine – mainly based on watching Inuyasha as a child and playing as if it were real – will turn me into a miko and thus destroy all her dreams of throwing a massive wedding for me.

As Mamoru won't be bossed around by her, she wants to fuss over me. I do love the shrine, and although I do stay there some weekends, I wouldn't say I'm completely diligent in my religious practices. I offer scented candles to Escaflowne when I'm at the shrine or worrying about a test or track competition, but apart from that I wouldn't say I believe in miracles and stuff.

Zia Sakura, mother's eldest sister took on the shrine as it's a family _business_, however much mother dislikes that and the Fanelian aspects of our family. Zia Sakura and my 'ice-cream' auntie, Zia Motoko live together in the shrine, though not many people know about 'miko' auntie. Back to my mother and I, we really don't know each other and I'm not saying she hasn't tried – but shopping trips to Chanel or Nicole Farhi and all those snooty boutiques makes me edgy and uncomfortable leading to a shouting match and her idea of bonding falls flat.

I know the general idea of a Fanelian mother is a stay-at-home mother, which mine is; but she just doesn't seem to have that bond with me. Not that my mother's an evil cow or anything, but I think it stems from Mamoru always being in trouble which left me to my own devices. And as I didn't cry out for attention, there really wasn't any thrown in my direction.

Man do I sound depressed, bring on the prozac.

Though actually, I'm anti anti-depressants as they're the kind of medication that you can get hooked on so easily and end up on heroin or something. Yes I may sound a bit of a hypochondriac or whatever the word is. But I researched that type of meds for a science project last year and was terrified by the amount of people that get hooked on prozac or morphine, and other types of medicines. Of course I read further and the part which can lead to other medications being abused and drugs in the spiral of getting high and then more drugs to come down. I know it's heavy but it's true.

So, after all that research I stayed away from paracetamol being the moron that I am and of course I got my period and so I was in screaming agony for a week and a half and stayed at home after vomiting for half the week.

Too much information? Well leave then, I'm not holding a gun to your head. Though if someone actually is on the other end with a gun to your head, I'd say Twitter for help!

Back on point. Yes, so I learned my lesson and not just from the pain and when I realised that paracetamol was harmless when used properly; but also Zia Sakura came round to the house and started purifying my room with joss sticks and candles which made things worse as the lavender made me vomit more so I decided modern medicine has its benefits when not abused which I've never come close to doing, so it's fine. Back to my mother – maybe we should bake together – although that would probably end up with food being thrown – from me to her.

Sigh, the point of this entry is to rant.

And for once it won't be about my mother, she was actually looking quite concerned and unlike daddy dearest she noticed my face going from one shade of my natural pale skin to another more ghostly pallor. My wonderful father decided to discuss the _arrangement_ between "our" family – I use the word _our_ very loosely – and the Schezars. Who says this betrothal isn't about father's greed for wealth, it's all about him trying to provide a good, stable future for me.

Seriously if I hear that phrase one more time I will punch someone.

Daddy dearest went on about how this was for my benefit and he wanted to see _his little girl_ happy – he has never called me that before. He probably doesn't even remember my birthday. Scratch that, he probably doesn't even know the date. Anyway, he obviously can read me in one way that he knew I felt – and correctly – that this _arrangement_ was for business and to merge Schezar's hotel business with father's company.

Why, for the love of God did he pick the Schezars? Why not someone I could twist round my finger to or aggravate so they'd run for the hills? Schezar will see me as a challenge, I know this. He may be a playboy _and_ a perfect gentleman, but I know when he smells the resistance coming off me in waves he will do everything he possibly can to change my view just for his own amusement.

Why didn't they pick Van? Ok I didn't mean that, like _that. _In _that way._ I mean it's not like I'm head over heels in love with him, he can be quite an obnoxious prat and isn't very open or easy to read as a person. But I know he would be a good guy and supportive and if I had something to say he would listen. Okay, I don't know where that came from – I mean the guy is good-looking.

Actually he has his own fan club.

He had to close down his facebook page because people started facebook-stalking him and females sent quite a few pictures that would normally reside on the top shelf of magazine racks if you know what I mean. Dilandau still teases him about it. However the strange thing is, even though he has all these extremely beautiful, though they may be bitchy or air-headed women throwing themselves at him he isn't that big-headed.

He may have an ego – about his intelligence, but not when it comes to women. He's nothing like Schezar and they're seen to be in the same league of hotness, personally I'd pick Van any day over Allen.

Okay off tangent again, and it's about Van, I'm really NOT one of his fan girls, just emphasising how attractive he is to my _overall _gender. Also if his parents were that warped to believe and go along with father's money making scheme, Van would definitely raise a red flag and kick up a fuss. Even if I did, no attention would be paid to me, but Van would have some sway and his parents – even though they'd never think of it in the first place – would actually listen to him and how we'd think it laughable.

However father seems to hold the view that as I am completely different to Mamoru – in that I haven't come home drunk on the arm of an equally drunk boy with any make up smudged. Nor have I been out on any dates that they know of, they assume that I must be given someone to date as no-one would think of dating me of their own free will. And of course there will be financial benefits if we married, but of course daddy dearest said that it was the furthest thing from his mind when he and Schezar's father made the arrangement.

But I _have_ seen pigs flying about recently so he must be telling me the truth.

Mother noticed that for once I was actually paying attention to Father and what he was saying, which obviously set off alarm bells as she had figured out that I was worried – try pissed more like – and I could sense her worry and almost guilt at the fact that I was in this situation and she hadn't done anything to stop it from happening. She even sat beside me in the dining room and clasped my hand after we'd finished eating whilst my darling daddy went through his plan for me in life.

I have to say it seems like this isn't an off the cuff idea of my father's. This has probably been in my father's mind for a few years or maybe since I was born, as he has his heir apparent in Mamoru, so he can use his daughter as another pawn in his business ventures to marry me off to someone and merge his family company with someone else's. Can you feel the enthusiasm radiating from every single pore, the ones that aren't clogged? Jeez if I'm really going to do the whole pretty thing, I will have to pull up my socks; no, pantyhose.

And my attempt at a clear writing style is working sooo well as you can vouch.

To all my readers, yes all you non-existent people that have nothing better to do than read about my life, thank you for bearing with my crazed ramblings. I bow to you and send you imaginary muffins. Really I'm not abusing medication. Really.

Anyway, back to my father's plans for little old me. He discussed how it would absolutely wonderful – and no he wasn't drunk when he said that – if we were to invite the Schezars over for dinner and that way Allen and I could meet one another (already done). That we could get to know one another (no doubt Allen won't want to talk that much, more feel me up under the dinner table). So that was when Father announced that the Schezars will be coming for dinner this Saturday evening and I won't be going to work.

And there we have it. My father is pushing me into marriage with a man I've met once and the only thing that has brought a smile to my face is going onto Yukari's online blog, even though I pretend not to have one. Her blog has the Super Junior Happiness video playing constantly, and it is true! It makes me happy! Haengbok! Thinking on it, maybe I should tell someone about this whole arranged marriage. And the only thing that will soothe me apart from the loveliness that is the 13 members of Super Junior? A List!

**Who Hitomi Kanzaki should tell about her arranged marriage to Allen Schezar in the expectation of a healthy response (not squealing with joy) and help to stop it:**

1. Chid Freid – my closest male childhood friend.

Pro: Would want to kill Schezar for going for someone eight-ish years younger than him as he views me as his little sister being an only child himself.

Con: Might not take me seriously and think that I'm an Allen-fan (ugh!) and tease me publicly about it making it harder to argue that I don't want to marry the man.

2. Merle Fanel – my closest female childhood friend.

Pro: Would be completely against me marrying Schezar as she would much prefer me to marry her brother as she fears having an utter bitch of a sister-in-law.

Con: Would immediately tell older brothers and parents, who would probably discuss it with my parents and would try to re-arrange it so I would marry Van, making me still marry against my will. Also may turn against Celena by default. And if situation would be flipped and I would have to marry Van, I would have a weird sister-in-law.

3. Yukari Uchida – 2nd closest female childhood pal.

Pro: Would completely agree that I am destined to marry a hot Fanelian guy, preferably a member of the future world cup winning football team!

Con: May go into 'fluff' mode and believe that an arranged marriage is so romantic (as in fanfics where the heroine and hero are forced to do so because of impeding war…etc.) and encourage me to date him and preferably steal his underwear for her to frame on her wall.

4. Amano Susuma – track captain, rival, became friend to entice Yukari.

Pro: Would probably think of a few good ways to stop Allen from marrying me, his pranks are legendary amongst the track people (few of us there are).

Con: Would probably find it hilarious and would encourage me to steal his underwear like his girlfriend, but instead of framing them, he would try to sell them on e-bay.

5. Zia Sakura & Zia Motoko – aunts on mother's side.

Pro: Would feel they were losing their favourite (only) niece. Valued waitress/miko-in-training. Also they would be completely against my marrying an Asturian, as they were when my mother married my father.

Con: Would try and compete and find a Fanelian boy for me to marry and cause further problems. And are the most likely candidates to spread the news far and wide, not on purpose but more to tell people how disgraceful it was my parents were marrying me off to an Asturian. They would be happy with me having an arranged marriage as long as it was to a Fanelian man of course and one who would appreciate a miko for a wife.

6. Dilandau and Van – childhood bodyguards. They like to think they do a good job of being older brother figures but I definitely don't want to follow in their examples. Anyway, they are placed together because if you tell one, they'll tell the other within seconds – not through telepathy but text messaging.

Pro: They could get all 'big brotherly' on me, which normally is a pain in the backside, but could be very useful as they might beat Allen up so bad he'd shudder upon hearing my name! Wouldn't that be cool, in a kind of I'm a bad guy from Akatsuki way?

Con: They would use it against me and rip the piss at every opportune moment with jokes ranging from, 'So you're fond of blondes?' to 'Hitomi likes older men.' And so on. One of them would make the comment 'I call godfather,' or 'I want your first child named after me.' Also they could possibly know him through business and what not and would tell him everything about me including how I'd bad mouth him constantly.

7. Celena Schezar – new friend, and hopefully future ally. The name gives it away. There are no pros to this scenario unless she really hates her brother, which didn't seem likely when he picked her up from school the other day, which my brother never did, even when we did speak to one another.

Cons: She's his sister. What more are you looking for?

8. Mamoru Kanzaki. Sharer of genetic material from Mr. and Mrs. Kanzaki (brother, older).

Pro: May evoke brotherly feelings leading him to kill or main Schezar, thus ending the problem, this is the only solution I've come up with so far.

Con: May find it hysterical and make it his own personal punch line. Do you see why he's so far down the list?

Result: Hitomi Kanzaki can never mention this to anyone ever as she will either end up married to someone else that she never intended (is Iaquinta mentioned here once? No!), or made the rolling punch line of Pallas High society. This discussion will self-destruct in 10 minutes. Nah.

So there goes sharing my troubles. Here's to misery! And they say it loves company. Maybe I'll fish out some of my old plushy toys and see if they cheer me up, the ones that Mamoru didn't burn or destroy in any way. Let's hope they're not too dusty. Actually the attic could be a good place to hide.

Anyhou

Hitomi Out!

Bai bai,

Hito-chan (it's now copyrighted) ©

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A/N: I know I said discontinued, but I might get the hang of it again! Be warned! It could come back!

Anyway, thanks for reading! And review, Hitomi cries otherwise. And will marry Allen! See that's got you running to the review button hasn't it? Hasn't it????????

Aml sina xx


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